so this is where i am...

in the last week i have come to a lot of realizations. ok may be the last 2 weeks. i am getting older. not really that big of a shock to most of you when you consider i will be 30 i a 8 months or so, but i definitely have peter pan syndrome. haha i know. about two weeks ago i went to see hoods, throat chop, and nasty crew. all bands i have seen a million times in the last 5 years especially hoods. i love hxc shows but this one was weird. i might have known 7 people who wont in bands. which was even a bigger shock to me since it was only a month and a half ago that cannons was still playing shows. anyway hoods came on and the were all these little kids i have never scene before singing every word like hoods was the only band they had ever listened too. it made me realize the scene is getting younger and i am getting older. yes hxc will always be a big part of my life but i feel as though it is one of those things i will continue to be a part of but it will be a lot more limited.

i was in church today day thinking about last sunday when i was talking to a friend about the idea of a hard rock band as a joke but today it hit me. why not and then i thought add the some dirtiness to it and i would be perfect. so in the middle of worship let the texting begin. hey axxell (i know hes not in church cause in the windy city) lets start a dirty hard rock project. response, im down what do you want it to sound like. heavy, fun, and dirty kinda like maylene, something a little more grown up that we can play anywhere without the hxc label. response, sounds good. so now we have a guitar and vocals. im pretty sure i have a bass player if i ask chris. so if you read this before we talk youre the next one im talking to about this. so im also thinking im gonna need a drummer. drummer are by far the hardest thing to find in a band. thus the reason why cannons appears to be dead. and so there playing drums in worship is my friend chris. so i talked to him about it and hes said hed be interested in seeing what happens so now we have a potential drummer. and with a 2 other drummers now at church i feel as though i still have options. needless to say im feeling pretty good after church. i might have a new band this is gonna be fun. all i really want to do is play fun shows. like at landshark or flys tie and maybe even the occasional southern metal show like maylene. the only thing i didnt get to do was talk to chris morasco he wa the one i talked to last week i think he would possible be a good fit on guitar too. i know i am gonna need to guitar players for this band in order to get the sound i am looking for. so fsat forward 6 hours to walmart. i hate walmart but they have cheap groceries and in tight times you do what you have. i HATE walmart. but i ran into someone i didnt expect to see and definitely dindt think it would make it into to this but surprise. so the conversation begins hows it going bands blah blah blah. i say cannons appears to be dead but i have this idea for a new band. a dirty hard rock band something to play out where ever and i can more or less sing the same way. he instantly gets a huge smile and twinkle in his eye and is telling his girlfriend to tell me what hes been talking about doing since he got back from tour. he wants to do a hot water music project and is now begging me to let him play guitar he says he even has song ideas we check to make we have each others numbers and part ways. so i am now starting to think i might be on to something and this is gonna be a lot fun i really hope this works well just have to wait and see. and so now i am home listening to hot water music and writing this out.


so here i am cannons appears to be dead maybe not miracles can happen, and at least it looks like music in my life isnt over yet. hopefully this is maybe the next step in my life. well just have to wait and see........

The IRS can eat

A DICk. Seriously the whole federal goverment can eat one for all i care. First they can justify printing BILLIONS of dollars for their own personal feel good and ego inflation. Just to help out their fellow white collar buddies. In the mean time the local blue collar guy Me gets f#cked. Thank you George W Bush, Bill Clinton, George Bush and all of there little skull and bones friends and F#CK YOU! Yes the reality of how much i owe the IRS has set in today and i needed to vent. No money back for me and kim. Well just have to wait and see if Mr Obama actually follows through on all of his middle class bullsh*t. There Im done for now...

its a major award

so my boredom got the best of me again. ive been joking about getting a leg lamp tattoo from a christmas story. well it happened yesterday i went to see mike bruce at inksmith and rogers on atlantic blvd. he thought it was a great idea as did ghetto josh who had other ideas for christmas story like a "red rocket pee pee gun". but thats another story, back to mine you might be trying to figure out why a leg lamp. well a christmas story is one of my dads favorite movies and the leg lamp is one of his favorite parts so i got this "for my dad". and if you know my dad you know he hates tattoos and doesnt see the point in them. im pretty sure hes not gonna know how to react to this probably disgust and humor all at once, well find out tomorrow.come on "its a major award." of course all this lead to me looking around online and i found reproductions online reasonably priced and you can even get it in a wooden crate so needless to say i think ill probably end up getting the real thing for my dad at some point.

such is my life

So I find myself question quite a few things right.... I think its more I am finally getting unhappy with where I am with life right now. I feel like I am at a dead end. Like I am settle for whatever is right here and now instead of looking for something better. It is kinda like being on a treadmill life just seems to be replaying itself over and over like a song on repeat. And I am tired of listening and doing the same this day to day.

makes me happy

enjoy

thinking about going back to school....

Holy shit! Can't believe I just said that. I'm thinking about going back to fccj or fscj what ever the school is called now... I think they are having a bigger identity than a sxe kid at happy hour. But anyway they have a theatre production degree now or so I hear. Lights and sound and stage stuff. I know the sound side and I know could figure out the rest. I guess I'm just trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. This could potentially work out really good for me. Like I said well just have to wait and see what happens. So I guess if this happens it will make me a teckie... that was TECKIE Chris not Trek ee....

Light the Fire

torch mob

i'll lead this torch mob
against your apathy
i've sat idily by to long
here is where
we'll make our stand
enough is enough

light the fire
light the torch
burn it down
burn it to the ground

let my words
be the wrecking ball
that tears down your walls
and leaves you vulnerable
try to hid you cannot run
from the light
we've lit the fire
and there is nowhere to hide

light the fire
light the fire in our hearts